Unbelongingness plagues me out at sea as well as ashore.
The master told me I do not belong to this generation of kids for someone
who is so deep into philosophy.
He called me a kid !
I quickly reminded him that I’d be twenty four soon .
To that he retorted I was still a fucking kid , and that was that .
I agreed .That was that.
I’m a loner and I’m running away(don’t know from what).
Here, on long lonely nights, under the starry skies, with galaxies,
constellations and minotaurs and other mythical beasts as my witness, under
the tutelage of an endlessly uncompromising sea ,I think… I create
syllabic symphonies and construct lofty wordcastles and toil as a wordsmith
who forges new thought instruments. At least I’d like to think so.
“He had a pessimistic heart combined with an optimistic liver”
I didn’t get it. The line simply popped up from nowhere.
And at first I ignored it , like I do most of the times. But the line kept
popping up every now and then, increasingly agitating me.
There was a second line buried deep within the mind, and was waiting to
So I rolled around the first sentence and tasted it like a kid would taste a
jaw breaker. No Luck !
It would take me two more days of chewing on the sentence to finally get the
“His heart wanted to drown itself in the lows of alcohol and the optimism
laden liver happily agreed to break down alcohol into simple sugars no
matter what quantity was imbibed”
Now this was exciting. We were finally going somewhere.
Soon came the next bunch of lines “He had seen death .Death was simply refusing
to entertain him. Death had its own problems. Death was too busy facing
itself ~ Death”
I have a morbid obsession of death. No, I’m not suicidal…I’m not emo ,
nor goth , no vampire fetish either. If you met me, you’d say that I’m a
very happy person. And funny.
Which is true.
Which is why I cannot understand my obsession with death. In most of my
unpublished stories , I plan to kill the protagonist in the end of the
story. In a way its the only true way a story can end. In a way I’m solving
my most feared problem of getting the right ending for a story.
There can be no story once there is no protagonist, isn’t it ?(Please say yes)
So this story would end in death too. A man would conquer death by embracing
it.(Is there any other way ?)And perhaps Death would also conquer
death.(whichever way you looked at it)
- Bodybuilder’s Guide To Acne-Free Skin And Big Gains (acneeinstein.com)