An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path. He wasn’t sure of which direction to go, and he’d forgotten both where he was traveling to…and who he was. He remembered absolutely nothing. He suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: “Now your third wish. What will it be?”
“Third wish?” The man was baffled. “How can it be a third wish if I haven’t had a first and second wish?”
“You’ve had two wishes already,” the hag said, “but your second wish was for you to forget everything you know.” She cackled at the poor man. “So it is that you have one wish left.”
“All right,” he said hesitantly, “I don’t believe this, but there’s no harm in trying. I wish to know who I truly am.”
“Funny,” said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. “That was your first wish…”
‘So what you’re suggesting in essence,’ he said,
‘Is simply pretending we’re single instead?
You want me to loiter, devoted to you –
But never acknowledge we’re better as two?
‘You want me to linger,’ he said with a sigh,
‘While you’re on the lookout for some other guy?
You want me to offer my hope and my heart –
While constantly acting as though we’re apart?
‘You want me to simply submit and agree?
To hope for the day when you’ll settle for me?
To wait while you actively push me away?’
‘Precisely,’ she answered.
He whispered, ‘… okay.’
Thoughtsuppository: This is what my wife thinks is the name of my blog.
I kinda like it.
It’s blunt and honest.
She is basically telling me, “take your thoughts and shove it up your ass!”
Product ideas that I will invent someday:
Willpowder: A powder you sprinkle on yourself to increase willpower.
Of course it is a placebo, and of course I’ll charge your dearly for it, but hey it comes in ‘musk man’ and’femme fatale’ fragrances, and oh… it has probiotics , so that good and beneficial microbes fight for you. That’s cool and awesome because you have literally millions of good microbes on your side, fighting for you, in a giant battleground that is your body, against bad willpower sapping, athlete’s foot causing microbes.Booyah!
Grace powder:A powder sprinkled in lieu of saying grace at a meal on special occasions.
If course its a placebo, but sprinkling porkchop flavored powder instead of a long winded speech to thank a God you have never seen in action or met in person might be a better alternative and an easier ritual.
(And the punchline you’ve all been waiting for)
Caution: Mixing Will and Grace powder has been known to increase homosexual tendencies, so these must not be used unless you enjoy the effects and aftereffects, but it makes an awesome prank to play on your bigoted,racist,homophobic friends relatives and acquaintances.(And jesus said ‘who hasn’t gotten at least one of these in their own life, may cast the first stone’)
And scary, if you have the requisite imagination.
Two sentence horror story.
This morning my phone had pictures of me sleeping. I live alone.
One sentence horror story.
I saw myself blink in the mirror
The cool kids come late to the class.
The losers arrive before time.
The cool kids smoke during breaks, often coming later than the allotted fifteen minutes.
The losers are sitting in the class, some napping, some studying, some talking to each.
The losers know everyone by name.
The cool kids know each other but not the losers.
I’m one of the losers (according to the cool kids)
Whaddya think they would expect of a guy who still has a blog that no one ever reads.
But I’m not what they think of me.
I’m only what I think of me.
You got what you deserve â€¦ you deserve each other.
I once confessed to a friend that I was afraid of the sentence ‘You get what you deserve’ because if I was ever unhappy or unsatisfied with what I had, then it was still what I deserved.
But what she said changed my mind.
She believed that ‘Getting what you deserve’ was very reassuring, because she always got the best in life, and it only meant that the universe was doing right by her.
Our viewpoints illustrated our general thought patterns in life… of my casual pessimism and her burgeoning optimism.
Even now, my fear has not gone away, but I’ve learnt to become a ‘cautious optimist’.
Looking back at life, even though my fear lingers in the periphery of the mind, I couldn’t be happier with what I got and what I have right now.
I’ll be forever grateful for that life lesson learnt.