I’ve never admitted to any one that I’ve been depressed.
The fact of the matter is that I’ve never consulted a professional in the field of psychology or psychiatry till now.
I’ve taken a few tests online and I have a mood monitoring app on my smart phone which consistently tells me in not depressed, but what do I know… I came to know recently that some of these websites’ tests are supposedly skewed to indicate depression in the test taker no matter what they answer.
Smells like Big Pharma? Maybe not.
I’m only prone to mood swings when I’m hungry, not easily flustered, and work well under stress.
I crack jokes incessantly, am easy to laugh at myself, and readily willing to forgive others and myself and others.
I exercise regularly, sleep well, eat healthy, and even take pro biotics!
But I’ve read (hyperbole alert!) hundreds of books on depression and it’s treatment- from medical literature on SSRIs’ and anti depressants to CBT, hypnosis,gestalt,vegan diet to extremely popular but crappy self help books that I won’t name because I fear a libel lawsuit from authors.
I’m fascinated with the idea of depression, but I’m probably not depressed, probably because I’ve unwittingly inoculated myself against it by writing.
There is an excellent book about this called ‘Redirect’ which is mostly about the therapeutic effects of writing, and discusses different strategies of writing to tackle different problems, which I would recommend to everyone who loves to write.(A book I discovered almost 10 years into writing )
I’m obsessed with depression, but probably not depressed.
It’s like that cliché movie dialogue that says “I’m not in love with you, I’m in love with the idea of being in love”