Looking back, I realise that I’ve always suffered from delusionally high levels of self esteem.
Whenever I thought a girl, cute or not, was looking at me, it was always because I was good looking and not because my zipper was accidentally open or I had a piece of tp stuck to my shoe.
I just enjoyed the attention in the most badass way possible, by pretending that I didn’t notice her noticing me, by being aloof at the highest level, by acting as if she is not worthy of reciprocating attention towards her.
And that kids, was when I learned that you can actually fake it till you make it.
It got me phone numbers and dates where I didn’t ask for.
But there are great pitfalls to such high self esteem.
It robs you of honest feedback.
It reduces others to stereotypes and cardboard caricatures, while making a narcissist out of you.
It also reduces your calibration of others. You can no longer read others from their actions and expressions and makes you vulnerable to manipulate and to be manipulated.
But on the other hand, I did get myself a wife out of it, so it can’t be that bad!
(Sorry, it is)