InspectorIrony: Richard Small,By day he is a mild mannered reporter,for a women’s fashion bi-monthly, who churns out pieces of investigative journalism such as “10 reasons why you are still fat!” and “7 signs that he is ready for a commitment” and “Be
Size Zero in one Week!” and by night, a vigilante hero, protector of the weak, meek and oppressed, and a grammarian who makes the world a better place by correcting the english usage of native and non-native english speakers alike!
InspectorIrony gained his superpowers when he stumbled upon a dying super hero, Galactic English-Major, who transferred his powers and magic GalacticTextbook to Richard Small, whom he deemed worthy.
To summon his powers, he has to utter “Gerund“, and go to a private hiding place to change into his superhero costume.
(Tweed jacket,penny loafers, baggy trousers, chalk and duster in hand…what else?)
Strengths:The awesome power of the “GalacticTextbook” (Nobody knows the full extent of its powers yet)
His blood pressure shoots up to 220/150 when he sees grammatical errors or misspelled words, which lets him tap into the primal powers of ‘Galactic RighteousRage”
Weakneses:Becomes temporarily powerless when asked to give the definition of “definition” or the opposite of “opposite”
Thanks to the internet, 4chan and facebook, his blood pressure is permanently at 220/150, and faces imminent cardiovascular health risks.
Does not possess super strength, super speed, or nano-tech robots that do his bidding.
E-minor does not possess any superpowers, but he is one of InspectorIrony’s early converts.
E-minor is still in his high school, enjoys writing a blog about the common errors in English,
but he will not major in english in college because he thinks that studying music can help earn one more than
an English Major College graduate.Hence the name(which is also his favorite chord)
“It is not Irony! It was a mere coincidence!A sad one too!
It would have been ironical if he had died smiling while being slowly run over by a steamroller. Slow and “Not furious!”
Now that would be Irony!”
Disclaimer:This post has not been endorsed or vetted by InspectorIrony.All trademarks are registered to “The Galactic League of Extraordinary English Majors and Minors”
Received: from MPD at Globe Wireless;
Mon, 16 Dec 2013 14:23 UTC
- The Astounding Adventures of InspectorIrony (Rare First Issue!) (thoughtrepostrepository.wordpress.com)
- Paul Walker’s death was not IRONIC you insensitive blank. (smartstunningsearching.wordpress.com)
- A Primer on Irony vs. Coincidence (kramcomedy.wordpress.com)