I don’t find pleasure or pride in ownership or responsibility.
Am I normal?
I bought a new car, with my own savings.
My wife is happy/hyper when she drives it.
But I’m just Meh!
For me, even a job done well is only for the sake of doing it well, and not because it gives me any sense of achievement.
I’m happy of who I am, of what I am, but feel no sense of pride or achievement.
Maybe I have Imposter Syndrome.
Or maybe,I recognize the role of chance and randomness too well and find it silly to attribute any success fully to myself.
I pretend, when I’m supposed to feel happy.
I wonder if I’m a morality bound psychopath, who does things because they must be done, or because they are convenient. (the mind is plastic enough to accommodate to extreme and opposing views, or so I’ve heard)
I feign, I Feint,
I’m strangely content, but my eye is fixed just over the horizon.
I don’t relish the now that was created by all the decisions of yesterday, but I keep a lookout for the future and all its possibilities that are borne out of the ongoing present.
This is an admission and admonition to and of the self.
Even in this, I demand a precision of expression.
I demand acknowledgement of my expression, because of my explicitness and care for precision.
I am deluded.
But I exist.
And I don’t care, because…
And I believe, Everything’s Eventual. (Sorry again Mr.King)contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]
- Psychopaths Able to Empathize, Study Suggests (newsy.com)
- 24 Things Most People Pretend To Understand But Don’t (buzzfeed.com)