An Excerpt from ‘Ask the Bartender’
My love dumped me a year ago .She tied a rakhi on my hand and called me her brother.But now , she calls me , she ends up where I go , smiles at me , asks me if I miss her. What’s going on?
Bartender: Men and women have a lot of differences- the biggest being that only one of us looks good in a belly shirt.But here’s another:Men’s emotions are lilke a lake on a calm day.Yeah , we scream when we’re dumped, but for the most part , we tend to maintain a placid face.
Women? like freaking ocean.Everything from the moon to the time of the month can change tides, create rip currents , and kick up monstrous, unsurfable wanes.You just have to know that your ex’s periodic contact isn’t a plea for your return.
Its just a wave of emotion that could’ve been triggered by a picture, a bad date , hormones , or any other random thing that popped up.Now , if these waves start coming more frequently , I’d hunker down , because that’d mean there’s one hell of a storm brewing.
I still wasn’t satisfied.Hormones or no hormones , rip tides and sieches apart , this woman ,had ripped my heart out and stuffed it back in my throat.I was never going to let that happen again…
If I ever see you again …god , I hope I don’t ….hate is an exhausting emotion.
You think you know me?
So you ‘ve read everything, seen everything …and now you think you know me !
You think you know what makes me click ? You think you know the inner workings , the minute gears, cogs and sprockets that run this rustbucket ?
You think you know me?
You think you have figured me out ?
It takes a lifetime to know someone , and even then , one is not sure …
The mind is a terrible thing.It goes deep.Deeper than the deepest pools you have swum in .
It is darker than the darkest places in your heart .
It is more frightening than nightmares that wake you up in the night.
one chance , just one chance is all you had …
That was the real me,
that you got to see,
wet naked and hungry ,
arms stretched out,
Calling out ‘ save me ‘
you burrowed deep
in my breast
But the games you
used to play
made my heart bleed
The violins wailed on that stormy night ,
A sax blared out mourning,
a steady percussion of my heartbeat
The ghostly chorus sang a muted note,
its baritone seeping through evry pore,
every heart mind and soul
the wailing voilins
and the sexy sax
made beautiful music together,
but It was you
who plucked my heartstrings
playing an awful discodant note
while my heartstrings were broken
the violins continued to wail
The music had just begun tonight
but you gave my shattered heart
in a platter
Back to me
So tonight , I declare ,
My heart is not for sale
You’ve had your chance,
alas , no one else will
I don’t miss you
Just who you used to be
You don’t ring true
so please stop calling me
More salt to rub on my wounds: in SMSese
Luvin sum1 inspite knowin u’ll b hurt l8r is lik acceptin dat u hav 2 die.
but not luvin sum1 by the fear of gettin hurt is lik killin urself b4 u die.
Well, babe , let me answer that ; I’m already dead and now I’m tryin to kill myself ?