She said she had to go.
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
We still had some time left and I was trying to drag it as long as possible.
Only problem was I couldn’t think of anything that would force her to spend some more time with me.
“So do you need a lift to someplace ?”, I asked hopefully …
“No “, she said, she’d rather take a rickshaw.
“Well then“, I said ,” I guess this is the last goodbye then“…Why couldn’t she see that I was trying to stall her as long as I could ?
This was the last time we would meet .
I knew it.
She knew it.
It was inevitable.
It was fate.
It was destined.
And it was tragic.
What about all the time we spent together ? We did have good time…No we had a great time.I made sure of it ,making sure she was laughing or smiling all the time.
I was always bad at goodbyes.They never came out right…I always choked on my best prepared lines.
In the end ,after a quick wave, I turned around briskly and walked away without looking back, hoping that she would be waiting when I turned around.But when I turned around, she was long gone.She was a lot stronger that I was.
For me , It was still not over.I did not want it to be.Let the suffering continue…
Came back home absentmindedly and took my dog for a walk as usual.I listened to the most depressing song available on my iPod.The music and lyrics simply washed over me, as I walked with my dog.
Met an old friend.He looked like he was going through his second puberty at 25.He had sprouted extra arm hair and acne and his voice was breaking.
Small talk took about thirty seconds.
For most men, small talk is actually small.
I thought about my other friend, and what he’d say at my predicament.He’d repeat his oft quoted line” Don’t cry over lost pussy” or “plenty of bitches in heat all ’round you, you lose one , you get one.That’s life”
“Dude!”, he’d ask me , “don’t you have a back up? one must always keep a back up pussy.Always !”… Ah ! My friend , The ever eloquent , never at loss for words.
But she wasn’t like that .She was always tongue tied.I could always talk circles around her .Wordplay and double entendre and rapid fire silly comedy could keep her confused and tongue twisted till she finally got mad at me.But she’d always laugh it off in seconds.Never seen her getting angry for more than ten seconds.Even when I tried my best to get her angry.
As I walked alone with my dog , I could see that the clouds had sensed my mood and darkened appropriately.This phenomenon always happened in Indian movies.The plants, the animals, the wind, the clouds, the weather … the entire frickin universe was synced with the actor’s emotions.If the heroine cried because the hero had dumped her for another girl , the skies would cry with her , while a soulful mourning song played itself in the background.
In Indian movies , emotions controlled everything …emotions were everything!
So when the clouds darkened, the cool breeze brushed against my face coaxing me to surrender into its cool embrace.
And I realised that our last goodbye was incomplete.But I was sure I would choke again . So I would go the coward’s way and simply text her this message.
Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I’ll miss you
Until we meet again!
Unfortunately, goodbyes are part of life. But I reckon for every farewell there’s another hello that awaits.
Waiting for that hello now.