No one would have ever thought that Micheal Jackson would amount to anything.Frankly, no one thought he would survive his childhood in the state orphanage.He existed as an inapposite…A short white stumpy dwarve with fiery reddish curly tangled mess of a hair with a godawful accent that made him sound like Count Dracula.
No one remembers that what he had unwittingly engineered only caused catastrophic results.
No one remembers the promethian deception .
No one remembers anything really.
We all suffer from a collective amnesia.
You might not even believe what you are about to read.
You will no doubt dismiss this as flights of fancy of a deranged man of an unbalanced composition.
But I implore you to look deep into your soul and try to find that flicker of memory of the truth that has been lost to us.
It all began with the quest for a perfect hand cleaner in a laboratory that once gave birth to non-stick cookware.
It all began with world peace,cleansed souls and a bottleneck situation in a non corporeal corporation.
Thus it all began but ended with death of Michael Jackson,a deception beyond promethian scale and perpetual forgetfulness.
But much before that,it all began in the land of the Iron Curtain with Anatoliy and Tatyana Drozd naming their only child Mikhail Jackson.
Young Mikhail, had rust red curly hair,was short and stubby and bore no resemblance to the late King Of Pop,the perpetuator of the Peter pan myth and the purveyor of Jesus juice to young persons.
Mikhail’s parents wanted him to live in the land of opportunities and they thought that the name Mikhail Jackson would constantly keep reminding them of their desire.
Eventually when they did escape the Iron curtain posing as a figure skating couple , they sought political asylum in the land of opportunities, which was refused when it was discovered that they weren’t really figure skaters but a mere dull watchmaker and a mousy librarian with no other exceptional skills but a shared interest in braille calligraphy.In short they were worthless to the land of opportunities.
When they were about to be deported back behind the rusty Iron Curtain,they abandoned their son in the land of opportunities so that one day he could enjoy all those privileges that were non-existent behind the Iron Curtain.
The iron curtain had been humiliated and that humiliation at the hands of a mere watcmaker and a librarian had to be hastily avenged.Thus Mikhail’s parents were executed by a firing squad on arrival to their home country.To state the obvious…Mikhail never saw his parents again.
Mikhail became Michael in the land of opportunities and that sealed his fate with that of the King of questionable gender,king of Rhinoplasty,aka King of pop who hated his pop.
In the state run orphanage,where survival was very difficult for a rank outsider,it was discovered that Michael Jackson had an aptitude towards mathematics and chemistry .The Director of the orphanage , a well cliched pedophile saw that even though Micheal was an unsexy undesirable child ,he had potential to achieve something worthwhile and became his only supporter and as a result Micheal was put in prestigious shools which fast-tracked him and very soon he got through prestigious institutions.This incident would firmly prove that Micheal Jackson’s destiny was was not shared with that of his doppelganger’s , that is with that of the King of moonwalk,aka king of Whoo Hoo.
He became a chemist,and quickly joined a laboratory which had in its long history usurped and patented most of the inventions and concotions of its employees, albeit in a ruthless manner.There he was commisioned by his superiors to formulate a hand cleaner,which MJ thought was beneath his intellect.
But forever a perfectionist,on the quest for the perfect hand cleaner, MJ had stumbled upon the most important invention of mankind, something of far greater significance than sliced bread.
The same year an album called Black or White was released by the king of single white gloves, the king of self-crotch grabbers, the king of moon walk, the king of jesus juice and the ruler of neverland.
MJ invented a hand cleaner that went beyond mere dirt,grime and grease.
His hand cleaner cleaned so deeply that it apparently cleansed souls of the test subjects.
The test subjects with cleansed souls refused compensation offered for cleaning their souls without their consent and volunteered for more tests,at free of cost.
Naturally the executives ,fearing that a cleansed soul could impede their executive decisions kept well clear of the hand cleaner that apparently cleaned souls.
No one, including Micheal Jackson knew how the hand cleaner worked, or why it would clean souls.
Michael Jackson had , by virtue of his immense genius, concocted a formulation of lanolin and acetic stearate and cyanocobalamin and other chemicals that acted through the cornified outer ectodermal epidermis and even the inner mesodermal epidermis, thus cleaning the skin thoroughly.
But an accidental inclusion of glacial acetic stearate fortified the formula in a manner that the cleansing action now went beyond the known layers of epidermis.
This led to the obvious conclusion that soul was subcutaneous.It was firmly established that the seat of the soul was not the heart or the brain but the skin itself, that the soul acted as the final and innermost layer of skin, and the act of cleaning it literally caused it to be cleansed in metaphysical ways that resulted in cleansed souls.
Micheal Jackson in the tradition of all previous scientists gave the patent to his employer without any thought of using it for personal gain.Or so we are led to believe.
The product was marketed as ‘The Soul Cleanser’,maybe for the lack of imagination or for the lack of a better marketable name, and sold in bright orange 1 oz plastic containers.It smelled like freshly sliced oranges.That was Michael Jackson’s formulation too.
The Soul Cleanser was a grand success and people flocked for salvation in a box.It was hailed as the greatest invention since sliced bread by all the comedians worth their salt.
Organised religion everywhere openly condemned The Soul Cleanser, and proclaimed it to be only a quick fix.Organised religion declared that only they had the claim on dispensing everlasting salvation.Legal eagles everywhere prepared for class action suites filed by disgruntled people whose souls had been cleansed without prior consent.One organised religious unit that frequently audited souls sued the makers of The Soul Cleanser for unfair market practices and unlawful monopoly.Politicians on either sides of the fence battled and debated fiercely on the por and cons and etics and morality and other such dillemmas that the Soul Cleanser surfaced.
But the Soul Cleanser itself was very successful.It cleaned dirt and grime very effectively.It also smelled nice.(The sales of oranges saw an unprecedented rise)The Soul Cleanser was also hypo-allergic and could be substituted for any clinical disinfectant and had mild bleaching action to it.
Anyone who used The Soul Cleanser felt clean,rejuvenated and experienced a dramatic and profound feeling of calm and peace.These effects were immediate and long lasting,lasting upto 2 days upon a single application.
But in a disastrous move to increase sales, the efficacy of the product was reduced to half by executive decision and as a result the new watery product was immediately rejected and shunned by the masses.The older versions of the Soul Cleanser were soon sold on the black market at exorbitant prices.
As per another executive decision, production of the Soul Cleanser was temporarily halted to create false scarcity.For the record, the executive had never come within hundred metres of his product for the fear of accidentally cleansing his soul.
There was chaos everywhere and people started rioting as they began experiencing withdrawal effects.It was suddenly discovered that The Soul Cleanser was also addictive.MJ appealed to his superiors and the executives to restart the production and sell The Soul Cleanser at subsidised rates to the general public.He was promptly discharged of his duties and asked to leave the premises of the laboratory.
An enraged MJ vowed revenge against his employers and tried to destroy the formula of the Soul Cleanser.He failed as he was caught by the security when his pants got caught in the electrified fence.He was effectively neutered as a result of the high tension electrified fence and hospitalised immediately.
Days later his body was mysteriously found in the bathtub and a preliminary autopsy revealed death due ingestion of large amounts of the Soul Cleanser.
Though the Soul Cleanser was a miracle product in every respect,it was not suitable for consumption.
The case was closed as an attempted (and successful) suicide.
An oddly poetic note was left on the sink, found wet and soggy.
There were no clues as to whom the letter was referred to.He was a lonely man with no friends,family or acquaintances.The director of his old orphanage had committed suicide whan he was outed as a pedophile.So there was no one in this world for lonely old Micheal Jackson.
Maybe he was delusional.
Dexter’s Laboratory released that year was not based on Michael’s life although they shared the same physical attributes.Michael did not have a blonde elder sister.
The riots induced as a result of false scarcity and the death of the inventor of The Soul Cleanser aroused suspicions at high places which resulted in a congressional inquiry that exposed the avarice of the executives who said that they did it to improve the company’s stock value.The public thought otherwise.
The company was dissolved and the government took over and began mass producing The Soul cleanser in an attempt to pacify the riots.Troops were called in to supply The Soul Cleanser to the general public.The riots ended within two months.
These riots, the government declared were the last riots of mankind.Large scale production of the Soul Cleanser began across the globe and people were reported to use them en masse.
As a result peace had descended upon the world and there were no more wars or any other acts of aggression towards each other.
World peace had finally arrived to the entire world.It smelled like a citrus fruit and came in 1 oz boxes.It was proudly made in the land of opportunities.They made it a point to rub it in the faces of the other countries once in a while.
World Peace ,as a word had finally a meaning.
All was well.
Or so it seemed.
The actual effects of the Soul cleanser came to light only a year later going global.
It was realised a bit too late that people with perpetually cleansed souls had no desires and that consumerism was just a thing of the past and as a result the global economy was collapsing.
With no wars, there was no market for WMD’s and the land of opportunities was slowly sinking.
Great aryan nations suffered because no one bought clock work precision extravagances anymore.Well, to make a long story short most countries followed suit.
The world was too goody-goody and frankly dying a slow death as a result.
But far greater imbalances lay somewhere else.
A non-corporeal corporation called Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries was the most affected because of the Soul Cleanser.
AS a result of the Soul Cleanser, dead souls were frequently entering Heaven at a rate far greater than Heaven’s hellish expansion (pardon the blasphemous pun).All of 17 Heaven’s subsidiaries were filled up and the current gaggle of occupant souls had bottlenecked any further movement of souls within Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries.At the same time, Hell and its 29 subsidiaries were running huge losses because they lay almost vacant as influx of new souls had reduced to a mere trickle.Negotiations were underway to lease Hell’s 29th and newest subsidiary as an adjunct to Heaven, as a temporary waiting room for the newly arrived.
Things were getting out of hand and it was decided in an emergency meeting by Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries that order had to bought back into the world.
Since Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries could not act directly on earth(on account of being non-corporeal), they decided to act through their minions on earth and the only people who were willing to be minions were politicians, who strangely were the only class of people who were unaffected by the Soul Cleanser.It was discovered that because most politicians had congenital Chronic Rhinocornified Dermatitis,or what you’d call innate thick skin,the Soul Cleanser could not penetrate into the deeper layer of the dermis and into the soul.It was general opinion though that the Soul Cleanser could not have worked on people with no souls to begin with.
After lengthy negotiations, the politicians and Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries reached an agreement, abd politicians were promised more than adequate compensations for their services.
In order to tackle the problem at hand,Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries gave all the politicians the most powerful weapon in their arsenal.
It was a weapon so powerful that ancient playwrights had spoken about them in their plays.
The weapon looked like an innocuous wooden box, but had the ability of solving any problem.
It was an ancient device called ‘Deus ex machina’, capable of inducing amnesia in a collective community.(Not to be confused with the literary device of the same name)
To make a long story short, the politicians used ‘Deus ex machina’ and brought back the natural order and chaos to mankind.The world had returned back to where it was .They call the new earth ‘Square One’…This is where the term ‘Back to square one’ originated from.(Not really .I’m just making that up)
In an act of betrayal the politicians never returned ‘Deus ex machina’ to Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries.They refused to surrender the weapon, claiming they had lost it in the mighty skirmish of 19__.Heaven,Hell & Subsidiaries could not do much to retrieve it on the account of them being non-corporeal and the weapon itseld being meta-physical.(Non-corporeal and Metaphysical are not the one and the same…so don’t ask me anymore stupid questions…OK!)
It now lies exclusively with the politicians of the land of opportunities.
The proof lies before you,though you refuse to see it.It was used recently so that a half wit could get re-elected in the land of opportunities.It was also used before attacking another country without provocation.
Whenever a feeling of amnesia fogs the world,I think and shudder of the human capacity for mundane evil.
The note on the sink,wet and soggy said
“I cannot prescribe salvation,
Or a spoonful of truth on a sunday morning.
I cannot show you the path ,
Much less make you walk through
Maybe I’m blind,blinded by the world
But together we can stumble around,
holding each other in our arms”