Here’s a lie that will cheer you up…You’re single only because of your insanely high standards that no person can possibly match.
Please keep saying that to yourself.
It takes the edge off being lonely.
But don’t worry…you are not alone…(snicker)…millions more are alone just like you.
Here’s a great myth that everyone, amazingly, believes: that everyone else is happy, having fun, living life, and you, all alone, are miserable. That everyone is out there, having amazing glorious sex, while you must content yourself with internet porn.
This isn’t true. Most people are in the exact same spot as you are. And those ‘glorious unions’ you see everywhere? Most of them are simply scared of being alone, so they go off and grab the nearest available person. The others are ‘lying’ together with vanity.
The big secret is that happy people aren’t as happy as they appear. Many happy people are actually covering up their real problems. But what do you do? You see one of these ‘happy’ people and then you get unhappy at them! You make yourselves miserable as you arrow nasty thoughts from your mind at them, and they don’t even know you.
You think, “It must be nice to be happy. They were born to the right parents, to the right environment. I wish I was like them. I wish I grew up where they did.” You think, “I have all these great qualities about myself. Why can’t someone see it?” Well, no one sees it because they are too worried about themselves.People are not ignoring you; they too are worried about themselves.
I say this because I used to know this girl, who appeared deliriously happy all the time, whenever I was there.
I later came to know that it was an act she used to put up for me.
(Why? I don’t know)
She’d break down and crumble as soon as I left.Apparently, she confessed later, that it took a lot of effort and energy to keep up the act.
The strange thing was she wasn’t doing this to impress me.
She didn’t even like me in the first place.
Her world was a lie.
I’ve changed a lot.
Once upon a time, I was so busy caught up in playing the role of misunderstood loner that I forgot that it was just a role, a make believe persona.
I was caught up in the web of my world, the world of my construct, and no one else was allowed in.
It caused many misunderstandings.People thought I was stuck up…one person even told me that I was arrogant.
I was not.
I was only masking my shyness the best way I could.
People tell me I’ve changed each time I meet them.
Apparently, people try to define everyone else they meet.We do it all the time.
We try to place people in nicely cut slots to mark where they go.
Most people are static. A year from now, they will probably look the same, act the same, and be the same. But if you are in a state of flux, easily done through a self-improvement (or self-discovery if you will), every slot they try to stick you in will fail.
This is what one girl told me.
She told me that I elude definition.
She tried to put me in a slot and I wouldn’t fit there, rather I’d seem to fit there only at certain times and not always…she told me that she eventually gave up.
BTW, she likes me…I mean I’ve seen girls, and I’ve seen her…she’s the only one who willingly spends a lot of money on international calls.That’s right she calls me.
Interestingly she has a boyfriend.(or HAD…as she sometimes tells me…I don’t know when she’s telling the truth any more, and I don’t care)
I don’t understand her.
But I’ve stopped trying to understand women.
To me understanding women was a competition based on a fallacy.
A fallacy that women understand men.
A fallacy that women have a better understanding of people all the time.
What a crock of bullshit!
A girl scoffed at me once.
She said men can never understand women the way women understand men.
She told me that she understood men very well.Her tone was sarcastic and bitter.
Remember this.When a woman tells you that she understands men,she’s telling you that she understands how to manipulate them.
She was a beautiful girl once, and I assume had many men after her,but I bet that to her surprise she failed!
She failed miserably in attracting a man she fell in love with. I suspect she fell in love with him in the first place because she could not get his attention.That drove her vanity to the edge and she fell in love.
(I confirmed it later…she did fall in love with an older man who acted as if she did not exist)
She woke me up.
Or rather her shattered self worth and self confidence woke me up.
If she , who claimed to know all men could fail, then she knew nothing.
I no longer believe that either sexes know anything about each other.
At least not in the way they want to.
These days I’m no longer worried about what people think about me.
You’ve read my posts…Do you think I would have written what I have if I was afraid of people?
If I’ve said that I have changed a lot that would be a lie too.
My core, my essence has not changed much.
I still inhabit a world of my own… for it is of my own construct and liking.The only difference is I let more people into my world.I let them decide.
For example, I tell I show people what I write…because what I write is reality-revised and rewritten…it is my world, reconstructed.
I let them explore my world and let them decide whether to immerse themselves more or simply disengage.
But If they want to enter my world,then it would be at my terms…for my world is my sanctuary, my safe haven, it is hallowed grounds, and meant to be treated that way.
I like to engage people in my world…I call all my friends to my home…meet my family,see my place,get a feel of it, and enter my world.
But I’m selfish.I demand equality.Other worlds and elsewheres are interesting.
So the principle of Quid Pro Quo applies.
I show you mine, you show me yours…so as to speak.
Most of my friendships have broken because of inequality.
So with that I invite you officially…
Welcome to my world…welcome to my parlour…take a look around……feel free to browse…but no touching the merchandise…and if you break it , you buy it…and I’ll let you know when the closing time is…and if I like you, you might just get to stay a little longer.