He’s an astute observer of people.
He’s usually never wrong.
He tells me, that I need to be loved by women,that I constantly crave their validation, and so to gain that love and validation I will do anything they ask me.
I resented that.
I’m not like that.
I’m never sure…his eyes have a way of convincing you the absurdest of the lies he spouts out.
I tell him,”I don’t even believe in love”
“So..who was she?”, he asked.
“The one that broke your heart?”,
“You won’t believe me if I told you…”, I said.
“Try me”, he said.
“She was an imaginary woman of my creation…the perfect ice queen whose primary goal in life was to reject all men, while hoping and waiting for her Prince Charming.”
I took a long breath before I could continue…I had to say it in a single breath, or else I would never be able to say it at all.
” I’ve placed this imaginary woman’s mask on several women till date… and most of them have outright rejected it…but it fit one person very well, and it became her…no, not because she had all the qualities of my imaginary ice queen, but because I helped her bring it out slowly and gradually, until the mask got lost somewhere in the persona.
The objective of the entire exercise (futile as it may seem now) was to bring about a change in me (which it did in the end) but it had unintended(and tragic) consequences that it changed her as well.
I feel so ashamed of myself that I’ve stopped talking to her,distanced myself from her and hope that someday she might forgive me.”
“It’s too late to ask for forgiveness”, he said,”she will hate you for the rest of her life”.
“I know” I said.